Grief and guilt regarding having my German Shepherd put to sleep?
On Tuesday evening, my Husband and I had to have one of our beloved German Shepherds put to sleep and it’s affected me SO badly.
I’ve always had this breed of dog and love them dearly. We are now left with one 6 year old GSD, a white long-haired male. He too, (and I’m convinced of this) is also teary. It’s breaking my heart at the moment, I seem fine and then something happens and I burst into tears. I am not a "cryer " normally in life.
Our old girl, reached 13 years, which is quite good for a GSD, yet she was on all sorts of medication to survive. I just miss her being around, am trying to be upbeat with the other animals, we also have 2 cats.
I work from home and can’t stop thinking about her, feeling guilty too…that she might have managed a few more weeks?? I hope we gave her a little dignity, whilst she still had some…as she still tried to run for balls & enjoyed her grub! The rest of her life lately though, she was totally deaf, (unless I clapped my hands loud) spent laying around in the house and garden, having to be assisted up stairs and having incontinence problems etc;
I just can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve lost 2 dogs in the past, so it’s not like we haven’t been through this before. Also, her ‘passing’ was so calm and quick, I hugged her throughout and the Vets were wonderful, leaving my Husband and I with her afterwards for a long while. All I have now is a big empty collar and an empty hole in my heart, and a lonely dog, who’s never been on his own before. I know people will say, get another one soon but we are moving in a couple of months and it’s far too soon to do that yet.
I don’t know why I’m whingeing as she had a marvellous life compared to any dog, I just miss her terribly. Not sure why I’ve even put this on here, as there’s likely little anyone can say which will make me feel better, except that I feel guilty.
Crikey, thank you all so much for your answers. They are a great help right now.
NOTE to KAZMAID: Yes, same as you, as we are moving, we cannot bury her in our garden, so we too opted for cremation. I will be collecting her ashes and aim to leave some at this house…and bury the rest at our new home in the country. Then I plan to plant a tree on top of them, in honour of her. Your aviatar picture, looks like our GSD boy, totally! Thankyou XXX
SORRY, it was CHRISTINE as well, who has the white GSD on her aviatar !
Shows what a state I’m in :0( XXX
HELLO to ALL of you that have helped me so very much with your wonderful answers.
As I cannot personally choose a BEST answer, (They are ALL good!!), please vote amongst yourselves and choose for me…I just can’t, as they are all special… and have such good advice. I am printing the pages and will keep them to read every now and then. Many sincere thanks XX
I started crying when I read this. I’m sure she knew she was loved and adored, and I know you miss her something fierce. You were there for her when she needed you, you witnessed her milestones, her teething, her energetic younger days, and her aging and death.
You did everything you could for her, and she knew your devotion and loved you all the more for it. She’s pain free now, and waiting to see you someday again.
A Dog’s Prayer
By Beth Norman Harris
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements . and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth . though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest . . . and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
© 1991 Beth Norman Harris
She loves you, and isn’t gone.
You’re in my thoughts, as well as your family and other dog.
sing a happy song and think of the good times you had with them and try to think that he/she is is a happer place,
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aww thats so sad. I have a 16yr old lab how has arthritis and is going downhill fast however me nor my family have the heart to get her put down as i have known her as long as my younger brother who is now 16. We also have her daughter n they have been together for 14 years mum said when we get the mum put down we will have to get her daughterput down aswell as they can’t even go for walks without each other!
it will be the sadest day of my life when it happens.
hope this helps u feel better knowing there is other ppl out there going through the same kinda thing
cheer up and maybe make a cross or something to remember your dog? or a photo album
?
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it is really sad when a dog is put down they are part od your family arent they?
a few years ago when i was 10 we had a german shepaard who was 9 years old who got grouchy and snappy. he bit my mum. it wasnt a little nip though, he ripped a piece of her flesh out and we had him put down so he couldnt harm me. I know this isnt the same scenario as you but this realy affected me as when i was younger i didnt really mix with other childern. I stayed away from them and when i came home our dog was my best friend. I really did mourn for him when he was put donw. But as long as your dog did have a good life you have nothing to cry about . You did what was best for your dog.
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my dog.
I’m sorry you’re so very sad but it’s totally understandable. What you’re feeling is perfectly normal. I remember my mother telling me that she cried more when her dog died than she did when her mother died. She would see her mum two or three times a year but the dog was with her 24/7.
Remember the good times and hopefully time will help xx
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Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Hope this helps, all you can ever do is what’s best for your pet, don’t feel guilty.
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sorry to hear , i love and have a german shepard too and have been in that situation as well .
but i got over the loss by getting another german shepard pup as soon as i could
all my best
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No need to feel guilty, you did the right thing. The important thing to remember is that it is quality of life that matters. I’m sure that most dog owners will agree that when you know your dog well you can tell when they know it’s time to go.
There’s nothing I can say to make you feel better, but take some consolation in the fact that you didn’t make your dog suffer just to spare yourself the grief.
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You made the right decision, feel happy that you made the decision one day early rather than one day too late, where she might have been scared or really ill and in pain, you would have been kicking yourself. I know how hard it is, we have a 15 year old cavalier king charles spaniel who is becoming very senile, and the choice is going to have to be made soon
Why don’t you get a rescue dog to keep your other one company? You really did the right choice, be brave!!! x
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I sympathise with you completely. I had my 21 year old cat put to sleep as it was the kindest thing to do. She had kidney and mouth cancer and her quality of life was diminishing. In the end the vet made the decision for us as I was sure she would recover but as she was so old, she didn’t really have a chance.
I had her from a 12 week old kitten – she was older than my children. For days I just burst into tears when I saw her feeding plates or collar or anything conneceted to her. I had two cats before her but I didn’t cry too much when I lost them (one in a accident, the other one just run away!)
It took me a very long time to get over "The Duchess" as she ruled our lives. What made me feel even more guilty was that she died just 6 weeks before we moved house so I couldn’t bury her in the garden. We had her cremated and scattered her ashes over her favourite sleeping place in the copse opposite. I kept some back to scatter in our new garden where I thought she might like!
It was 6 months before I got 2 more kittens and then we got two golden retrievers. I am dreading the time when ….
You will get over your loss but you will never forget any pets – they are, of course, part of the family. Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better but just to know that someone else has been through it does help. Give all your love to your other pets for the time being … take your time before you get another one. Take no notice of people who tell you to pull yourself together … they don’t know!
Good luck … remember her with lots of love and memories.
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i am sorry that you are going through this i have a 7 month old gsd haven’t had one in my family since i was too young to remember but i always loves the breed your story actually made me cry i sitting in class now and i think my heart just broke for you it is devastating to loos a pet even f it is to old age as i lost an old english when i was only 9 and i miss him dearly i hope it gets easier.
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personal experience
Of course you’ll feel grief and guilt. It’s a natural part of the grieving process. Just let it happen. She was a big part of your life and you will miss her and you should. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t grieve. It sounds to me like she was ready to leave this mortal coil and you did the right thing making sure that she didn’t suffer needlessly. I’m glad you loved her enough to do this. Many people let their pets go on and on in pain and suffering for years because they are too selfish to let them go. I won’t give advice on how to get over this because you will in your own time and in your own way. I wouldn’t get a new dog for a long while either because you’ll see it as a replacement and you’ll be constantly comparing it to your old dog, which isn’t fair on you or the new dog.
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You need to take time to grieve, so allow yourself to cry. You were a wonderful owner and please don’t allow yourself to feel guilty, the Maybe game is something it is so easy to get involved in, but in your heard you knew she did not enjoy her life anymore. Focus on the good times which she was younger.
When you are ready, look for another wonderful pup.
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i had my little tibetan spaniel for fifteen years, she was really beautiful, confident, smart, cute, lovable and just fun to be around, but she got a tick and that gave her really bad heart problems and we had to give her medication twice a day for 2 months just so she wouldnt have a heart attack. now its 3 months after she passed away and i still feel horrible about her not being here… we have another tibetan spaniel that has always had Paris(my dog) around as a big sister, and now i think that she isnt doing as well either, she will howl if we go out for a drive, and shes gotten alot more misserable. for 2 or so weeks after she died i cried alot but now i am starting to realize that she had a wonderful life and theres nothing to be upset about.
thats all that you can really do. wish her the best and pray for her. hope you feel better soon, but its not so bad that you put her down, better her not be in pain , its good that your feeling upset for her, it mean that you loved her dearly and im sure that she had a great life, i love german shepards and am considering on getting one as soon as we move into our new house with bigger property.
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Hi, I had my dog, Gemma who was terrier, put to sleep 2 years ago, i felt really guilty, she had bone cancer, i was at school at the time so i wasnt even there to say goodbye. I blamed myself for a while. then i realised, its not your fault, its just nautures way of letting you know that it was your dogs time to go, so please, dont blame yourself, your dog has gone to a better place, and you will be able to see him again one day.
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I started crying when I read this. I’m sure she knew she was loved and adored, and I know you miss her something fierce. You were there for her when she needed you, you witnessed her milestones, her teething, her energetic younger days, and her aging and death.
You did everything you could for her, and she knew your devotion and loved you all the more for it. She’s pain free now, and waiting to see you someday again.
A Dog’s Prayer
By Beth Norman Harris
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements . and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth . though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest . . . and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
© 1991 Beth Norman Harris
She loves you, and isn’t gone.
You’re in my thoughts, as well as your family and other dog.
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Hi!
I know how you feel, I hated putting my German Shepherd down, it hurt me so much. It changed my life. But, you have to remember it was for the better. She had a marvelous life, and it is normal to miss her. I’m going to tell you a story, and hope it makes you feel better.
I had my German Shepherd since I was in Grade School, she went through everything with me. She wasn’t a dog that I used to just pet and feed, she was my companion. We had her, and she was so happy but we realized she was starting to act ill and weaned a lot. She couldn’t make it outdoors to use the washroom, and didn’t eat much.
Then, we saw ‘worms’ on the stairs, and decided to call the vet. Those worms, weren’t worms, they were maggots. I’m not going to explain why, because that’s not the point, the point is my beautiful girl had bowel cancer. Did we put her down? Yes. Did I want to? No. But then I read this inspiring poem and I knew she was in a better place. If she was down here with us, she would be suffering, she’s much, much happier now.
If you want the poem, here’s the link. It’s beautiful and I HIGHLY recommend it.
http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/caldlove.htm
It’s beautiful, I’m sorry with your time of loss. You have my prayers. I know how you feel. Good luck, don’t feel bad.
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I know exactly how you feel, we took ours to the vet in the morning for a scan, and fully expected to go back and collect him that night. At 2pm I got a phone call asking for permission to operate, as she had found something and needed to explore. At 3.30pm I received a call to ask permission to put him to sleep, as his liver was riddled with cancer. I still to this day don’t know how she understood a word I said, I cried non stop for about 3 days! He was almost 14years old, he was a big handsome chap, and he left a big void when he went. That was 4 years ago this month, and I still miss him. We have a huge portrait of him on our wall, and I still talk to it!! We now have a 4 year old lab, and a 6 month old GSD, and they have a helluva lot to live up to!! I wish there was something I could say that would make it better for you, but I know how I felt, and the only thing that will help is time. You’ll never forget but it’ll get easier. You have my heart felt sympathy. God bless you flower xxxx
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I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved gsd, what you are going
through is just a natural process, you sound like a fantastic owner
and you obviously gave her the most wonderful life which was full
of love right to the end, you have nothing to feel guilty about, making
the right decision at the right time and allowing them to go with
dignity is the last show of love that we can give. There is a lovely
web site where you can light a candle, and leave a message, I found
that helped me a little. I hope that you will soon start to feel a little
better, and start to remember all the fun times instead of the sad one’s
it will take time, god bless.
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